


Physique of a Greek Statue

by cutelittlekitty



Series: Heavenly Body [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU-modern setting, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Destiel - Freeform, Karaoke, M/M, Shower Sex, The Roadhouse, bottom!Castiel, infidelity-sam cheats on his girlfriend, top!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 02:18:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutelittlekitty/pseuds/cutelittlekitty
Summary: Dean cuts him off with a kiss.  "Cas, I've spent the past four months imagining us old together, grandkids playing on the lawn as we hold hands in our rocking chairs.  I'm glad you feel so strongly for me, because I really, really want this to be serious.""Grandkids?  Dean, it would take some significant scientific advancements that I doubt anyone's even close to making, for me to be able to give you children."Laughing, Dean hugs Cas tighter.  "We'll adopt.  Unless you don't want to?  I could always just volunteer coach or join big brothers or something.""I don't know.  I've always thought I didn't want kids, because I don't want to pass on my genes, but adopting... Maybe.  Can I think about it?""Of course!  We barely know each other, we have plenty of time before we're ready to start thinking about having a family," Dean laughs.Stiffening, Cas realizes he messed up; he knew Dean was talking about the future, not wanting to go adopt a child tomorrow, but he just..."Hey, Cas, what's wrong?" Dean asks.





	Physique of a Greek Statue

Dean moves far enough past the door for Cas to have comfortable space to come in behind him, then toes off his boots and sets them under the hall table, where Cas is putting his own shoes. Their hands brush together and Cas, watching the unintentional touch, smiles.

"Would you like some coffee?" Cas asks as he stands.

"Who doesn't love coffee at two in the morning?" Dean grins but Cas, having turned toward the kitchen, doesn't see it.

"Oh, right, I wasn't thinking; of course it's too late for caffeine."

Dean sighs, and moves to stand in front of Cas, tucking a finger under his chin to lift his head so their eyes can meet as he gently slides an arm around his waist. "Cas, there is no time of day or night that I don't love coffee. I wasn't being sarcastic, though I know it kinda sounded that way."

Frowning, Cas drops his gaze though with his chin tilted up, the lowered sight line has him staring at Dean's lips. "I'm sorry, I'm not good with sarcasm. I can't always tell..."

"Hey," Dean says, brushing his lips lightly over Cas's, "no worries. I tend to be sarcastic a lot, and so far you've seemed pretty good at catching the difference. Besides, lots of people don't get sarcasm. I use it so much, most of the time I don't even notice, but if you ever aren't sure if I'm joking, just ask if I'm serious. Sam and Bobby, hell, even Gabe and Ash have to ask all the time. I think the only ones who always know when I'm joking are Ellen and Jo, and that's only because they're both made from the same sarcasm-filled mould."

Smiling shyly, Cas lets his azure eyes drift back up to Dean's. "I don't know who any of those people are, but thanks for saying it's not just me."

With a warm grin, Dean hugs Cas close, kissing him tenderly. "I want you to know who all those people are. And I want to know more about you; everything. Believe me, Cas, everyone is different in their own ways and everyone is the same in some ways. Please don't ever hesitate to tell me something because you think it's weird or whatever. I swear, I like you just the way you are and I'm pretty sure nothing you could ever tell me will change the way I feel about you, unless it makes me like you even more. And another thing..." he adds, pulling back to fix Cas with a stern look, though mirth is seeping through in the twitch of his lips and the twinkle in his eyes, "never promise me coffee if you aren't going to deliver." Cas's eyes go wide for a moment, then Dean laughs and gives him another kiss, hugging him tight again before turning away to make the coffee himself, finding everything in the same place as four months ago.

"You were joking," Cas chides.

"Only about the coffee," Dean grins as he turns the pot on. "God, this is so weird. We haven't even spent 24 hours together but it feels like I've known you forever. And then I'm talking about friends and family like you already know them 'cause it's like you've been around longer than anyone else so of course you have to know them but you don't because you really barely even know me," he says as he takes out two mugs and sets them in front of the coffee maker, then turns and leans a hip against the counter, verdant gaze focused on Cas.

"Which makes absolutely no logical sense," Cas replies, coming to Dean and putting a hand on his chest, over his heart. "But I feel the same way. Maybe we were born in the same hospital, or went to the same kindergarten, or lived in the same area when we were too little to remember?"

Covering Cas's hand with his own, Dean shrugs. "It's possible. Or maybe Cupid got us. There ain't an arrow sticking outta my ass is there?" he chuckles.

Making a show of looking around Dean's shoulder to appreciate the view, Cas replies, "Not unless it's invisible. There's nothing back there but a nice ass in tight jeans."

With a grin, Dean slides his arms around Cas's shoulders to rub his hands up and down over his back before sliding down to Cas's ass and kneading. "Not feeling any invisible arrows in you," he jokes, "unless they're non-corporeal. Hmm... guess they probably would be, since cupid is."

Cas laughs, eyes crinkling. "Dean, there's no such thing as cupid."

"Hey, you never know. There's no way to prove that something you can't see, touch, hear, smell, or taste exists, but there's no way to prove it doesn't, either."

"Hmm..." Cas muses, falling silent as his brain goes to working out ways to prove or disprove the existence of something that doesn't register on any of the established five physical senses. Of course there have been suggestions of other senses, the 'sixth' sense, extra sensory perception would be the most likely to pick up such an existence, but that's assuming the sixth sense is real, when it has never been fully proven. There's also the sense that tracks the passage of time, though that might not perceive a cupid, if such existed... his mind races down avenues of thought, chasing after solutions to the random conundrum without really doing anything more than indulging his curiosity.

The last drips of coffee are falling into the pot, so Dean fills the two cups and hands one to Cas, not letting go of the mug until he comes back from whatever he was thinking about. Frowning at the cup in his hand, Cas hands it back to Dean and takes the mug from Dean's other hand, the one with the cartoon bee that says as long 'As there's coffee, everything will bee ok'. "What, you don't like wings?" Dean asks, looking at the light blue mug that has a pair of black, feathery wings on each side, both with 'I'm winging it' printed under them in navy.

"I do," Cas shrugs, "but I like bees better." He heads past the island and into the living room, climbing onto the couch with his legs crossed under him, sitting cradled between the arm and the back. He looks over to see if Dean is coming, thinking he probably should have said something, asked if he wanted to come sit down or- but Dean is already settling himself on the other side of the couch, turned toward Cas, one leg laying on the cushion, other foot on the floor. He smiles at Cas and takes a drink of his coffee, and Cas smiles back, eyes warm and caring. Cas is used to having to 'do normal' at work and on the rare occasions he goes out with Charlie and Meg, even though he sometimes slips and forgets that people expect to shake hands when they meet you or expect an answer when they ask how you've been but don't expect it to be accurate, or that you're supposed to look at people when you're talking with them and not stop in the middle of a conversation to sift through your mind for a relevant reply or any number of things he doesn't always understand and has to struggle to remember. But he hasn't been in the habit of doing it at home since he moved out of Mom and Dad's and even that first night with Dean he hadn't seemed to mind that Cas forgot to invite him in or ask him to remove his shoes, or offer him something to drink or invite him into the bedroom; he just seemed to take cues from Cas and if there was something he wasn't sure of, he asked. The only person in the world he doesn't have to 'do normal' with is Charlie, and even with her it had been years before they'd come to the understanding that it wasn't necessary between them. And now there's Dean, and they've never even talked about it, it just is. 

"So," Dean says, pulling Cas from his thoughts, "those people I mentioned, that you don't know, Sam is my brother. We were pretty close growing up 'cause Mom died when Sammy was still a baby and Dad was always... busy; single parent and all that, so Sammy and I were on our own a lot. He's going to college in California, Stanford," he adds proudly, "but he's visiting this week and I'd really like you to meet him. He was at the bar tonight; don't know if you noticed him."

Cas thinks back, remembering the guy who'd been sitting between him and Dean when he'd gone to the bar for a soda and phone and realized he didn't have his wallet. The guy had been tall, with longish, shaggy brown hair and intense hazel eyes. He was fairly attractive and Cas remembers being frustrated with himself for being jealous even though he had no right to be since he was the one who'd run from Dean. For some reason, he's very happy to learn the guy is Dean's brother. "I did. The tall guy sitting next to you, right?"

"Yeah" Dean smiles. "We're supposed to get together for a meal sometime tomorrow, will you come?"

"That depends on how skilled you are?" Cas replies, corner of his mouth twitching up as he attempts a joke similar to one Dean made earlier.

"Very, so I guess that's a yes," Dean laughs. "Seriously though, do you want to go out to eat with me and Sam tomorrow?"

"I don't want to intrude on your family time," Cas replies nervously.

"Hey, it's not intruding; I want him to meet my boyfriend."

Eyes widening, Cas blinks at Dean, blushing. "Am I?"

"What, my boyfriend? Yeah. I mean, aren't you? We did agree to be a couple, right?"

Replaying the conversations with Dean on fast forward in his mind, he remembers they did say that, he just hadn't equated 'couple' with 'boyfriends'. "Yeah, of course, the word boyfriend just threw me off."

"Would you prefer a different term?" 

"No, boyfriend is fine, if you're good with it. But will your brother mind?" Cas asks, worry about reactions toward being outside the societal norm adding to his worry about meeting someone new whose opinion Dean obviously values.

"Hey," Dean says, scooting closer and slowly resting a hand on Cas's knee, "he'll be happy to see me happy, and with you, I'm beyond happy. Don't worry, Sammy's a good guy; I raised him right. And he's smart, like you; you'll get along great."

Leaning forward to set his mug on the coffee table, Cas smiles at Dean, then crawls over and snuggles up against his side, Dean setting his own cup down and shifting to make room for him. "This feels... good," Cas says, hand rubbing lightly over Dean's tee. "It feels like... like there's too much in my chest and it's so full it's straining. And it's scary because I know how easily that feeling can invert, becoming a void that swallows everything like a black hole. Sorry, I know this is too intense to be talking about on the, what, second date? ish? Not even actual dates, really. But I just... that's why I was scared, and I'm still scared and you said nothing I say will change the way you feel about me, but I need you to understand how strongly I feel because in the past that's what scared people away, and if it's going to scare you then it's better to end this before-"

Dean cuts him off with a kiss. "Cas, I've spent the past four months imagining us old together, grandkids playing on the lawn as we hold hands in our rocking chairs. I'm glad you feel so strongly for me, because I really, really want this to be serious."

"Grandkids? Dean, it would take some significant scientific advancements that I doubt anyone's even close to making, for me to be able to give you children."

Laughing, Dean hugs Cas tighter. "We'll adopt. Unless you don't want to? I could always just volunteer coach or join big brothers or something."

"I don't know. I've always thought I didn't want kids, because I don't want to pass on my genes, but adopting... Maybe. Can I think about it?"

"Of course! We barely know each other, we have plenty of time before we're ready to start thinking about having a family," Dean laughs.

Stiffening, Cas realizes he messed up; he knew Dean was talking about the future, not wanting to go adopt a child tomorrow, but he just... 

"Hey, Cas, what's wrong?" Dean asks.

"I know you didn't mean right away, but I just, I don't want you to be disappointed and I don't want you to miss out on something you want in your life, I just don't know if I'll be able to raise a child properly and I really will think about it because I want to say yes, but the answer could be no. Shit. This isn't something I'm supposed to be talking about this early either," Cas replies, hiding his face against Dean.

Kissing his forehead, Dean rubs up and down Cas's arm soothingly. "Don't worry about 'supposed to be' with me, k? We're both already planning to be together a long, long time, right?" Cas nods against Dean's chest. "So there's nothing wrong at all with thinking about the future. And it is something we'll both have to think about, but Cas, whatever life we build together, as long as you're in it, I'll be happy. In fact, hell with it, I'm gonna skip the normal timeline shit too," Dean says, pulling Cas's chin up to kiss him, deeply and ardently, and when he pulls back he murmurs, "I love you. Everything I said tonight was me saying I love you without using the actual words because it was too soon and I didn't want to scare you off. But I love you. I'm in love with you. I know I'm not great; I'm a high school dropout who tinkers with cars for a living and doesn't make much money doing it, and sometimes I drink more than I should, and I'm a closet geek, and once you get to know me you may change your mind, but I love you and I'm here for as long as you want me."

"I'm not going to change my mind, Dean. I've only been in love twice in my life, but I know what it feels like, and this is it. And I've never figured out how to fall out of love, so if anyone changes their mind it will be you."

Grinning, Dean pushes Cas down onto the sofa gently, arms wrapped around his shoulders as he presses their bodies together, thigh between Cas's legs rocking against his arousal. "Never gonna happen," he affirms, then claims the lips smiling shyly up at him. 

For a long time they just kiss, enjoying the press of their bodies, half of Dean's weight resting on his arms and a knee on the edge of the couch (which starts to get a bit uncomfortable), the rest of his weight a warm pressure over Cas that says this man, this virtual stranger, loves him and wants him, with all his quirks and social awkwardness. The idea is so alien to him that he surprises himself when moisture starts to gather in the corners of his eyes, pooling slowly before overflowing and forging trails down past his temples and into his hair. Dean pulls away, looking down at him with concern.

"Cas?"

"I'm ok," he says huskily, "I think I'm just... I'm really happy. Did you really think about us growing old together?"

"Yeah," Dean smiles. "Among other things."

"What kinds of other things?"

"Come to the bedroom and I'll show you," Dean grins, standing up and helping Cas to his feet.

Cas lets Dean lead him into the bedroom. Watching as Dean slowly removes Cas's clothes, he lets his 'boyfriend' (he'll have to get used to the term) do whatever he wants, gasping whenever fingers or mouth find a sensitive spot. Even once he's completely naked Dean just continues to explore, seeking out erogenous zones, mapping Cas's body like it's the most important thing in the world. Blood burning through his veins to gather in a hardening cock that is beginning to ache with need, Cas pants "Dean," and tugs his flannel down while Dean is sucking a hickey onto his collar bone.

Dean steps back immediately, looking at Cas with concern. "Sorry, was that too much?" he asks, looking at the purpling skin.

Cas follows his gaze. "Oh, no, not that," he assures, shaking his head. "It felt really good." He closes the distance Dean had made between them and pulls his flannel the rest of the way off, then unfastens his jeans. "Too good; I need more," he adds as his lips assault Dean's and he rocks their groins together to illustrate the intensity of his need.

"Oh," Dean says as they break apart. "We can take care of that," he grins as he pulls his tee off and shucks his jeans, boxers and socks. He pushes Cas onto the bed, arms catching him just before his back hits the mattress. For a moment, Cas just blinks up at Dean, then smiles as his arms wrap around him and they kiss. They scoot themselves further onto the bed and then Dean's hands are all over Cas again, until Dean is swallowing his moans and whimpers of need.

"Dean," Cas gasps, breaking the kiss and looking up at him, blue gaze full of need.

"Sorry," Dean grins, rocking their arousals together as he digs the lube and condoms out of the drawer, "you're just too distracting." Quickly he lubes his fingers and slides one in slowly, watching Cas's face intently.

"Dean, it's fine, hurry up and get inside me," Cas growls, thrusting down onto Dean's finger.

"Not 'til you're ready," Dean breathes, though Cas's urgency is contagious. He slides a second finger in, sooner than he's comfortable with.

"I _am_ ready," Cas rasps, focusing on his anus until it relaxes, letting Dean's fingers move easily. "Please, I need you to fuck me, now."

Dean would rather take more time, but there's no resistance from the ring of muscle around his fingers and Cas wants it, so he rolls the condom on quickly, slicks up and pushes in, Cas's pants of "God, yes, more," encouraging him to pick up speed, plunge deeper, watching pleasure spread across the face below his in wonder as the words become unintelligible moans of escalating volume. 

"Cas," Dean pants, and Cas wraps his legs around Dean's waist, changing the angle. "Oh, fuck, Cas!" he cries, thrusting harder and faster as Cas trembles beneath him, the strokes against his prostate almost more stimulation that Cas can take. Like this, Dean's not gonna last long and he shifts his weight to one hand, the other reaching for Cas's cock. But before he's even wrapped around the throbbing hard length Cas is crying out, white streaks spurting across his abdomen. If the sight hadn't tipped Dean over the edge, the way Cas tightens around him would've and he arches back, thrusting deep as he cries out "Fuck! Cas!" release crashing through him so hard he's barely able to keep himself from collapsing onto Cas, instead managing to pull out and collapse onto his back beside his lover, throwing an arm over his eyes.

"Holy Shit, Cas, you... that.. fuck!" he pants, lifting his arm from his eyes to look down where he sees Cas pulling off the condom, tying it off and tossing it into the trash. Somehow he's already managed to clean himself too, and crawls up against Dean's side, trembling against him as he lays his head on Dean's chest.

"That was really good," Cas breathes, enjoying the after-tremors running through his body and the full feeling in his chest.

"Understatement," Dean chuckles. "That was fucking phenomenal."

"I suppose that description could also apply," Cas grins, part of his mind wondering idly if he can use great sex to tie Dean to him as he suspects Charlie does with Meg. Not that he should need to; Dean's said he wants long term, even that he loves him, and Cas may not know him well, but he can usually tell when someone's lying or being evasive; Dean was telling the truth at the time, though that doesn't mean it'll always be the truth. He settles more tightly against Dean with a soft sigh. There's no point worrying about the future right now. Not that that'll stop him from worrying anyway, but for now, Dean's enjoying the afterglow, and Cas wants to just enjoy Dean.

They lay together like that for a long while, just basking in being together, then Dean turns onto his side and Cas rolls over and presses his back against Dean's chest, relaxing into his embrace. It isn't long before they drift into slumber to spend a restful night, wrapped in each other and love.

 

*****

 

Cas stiffens, feeling warmth pressed against his chest, then relaxes, remembering it's Dean. He sighs softly, enjoying the unexpected touch against his skin, nuzzling lightly against the back in front of him (they must have turned over at some point during the night), trying not to wake him though he can't resist feeling the warmth against his cheek. Dean snuggles back against him but his breathing remains slow and even and Cas is content just to lay there, wondering at the possibility that this is just one of hopefully many more mornings waking up to the pleasure of human contact. Sometimes he aches so much to be touched by someone, anyone, that he rubs his hands over himself in a pale imitation of the contact he needs, and sometimes his sense of touch is so sensitive that the lightest brush against him sets his skin crawling like there are bugs moving under it, or sets off an overpowering need in him, like it did last night in the car. It frustrates him that he never knows exactly how he will react. Last night, if it hadn't been for Dean's previous assurances that he wanted a relationship, with him, with Cas, he'd have flinched away from the touch and huddled against the door and darted out of the car as soon as they'd pulled up to the curb in front of his building, then run up to his apartment to ease the aching need. But that hadn't happened, because Dean had said just what he'd needed to hear to give him the strength to accept his desires, to let Dean past the thick walls around his heart he'd built to protect himself from the strong feelings that could overwhelm him. Of course he's still scared. 'Normal' people don't understand the way Cas's feelings are either nonexistent or overwhelming. It's impossible to explain to someone who doesn't live inside his head; the clinical term is sensory overload. Sometimes everything seems normal, and then suddenly it's like someone turns up the dial on his hearing so that the sound of someone setting a coffee cup on the counter rings through his head like the blast of a shotgun. Or he'll suddenly smell cinnamon and have to search all over his apartment for the source until he finds the sealed ziploc bag of oatmeal raisin cookies in the cupboard from whence the sent originates. When he tries to explain to others they either say he's imagining it or everyone's senses get stronger or weaker at times. Both responses just indicate that he hasn't expressed himself properly.

Humming sleepily, Dean stretches, then pauses as he feels the arms around him. "Cas? You awake?" he asks softly, and Cas smiles at the concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm awake. Good morning," he replies, clearing his throat and nuzzling against Dean's back again.

"Morning," Dean says and he can hear the smile in his voice as his boyfriend rolls over carefully and brushes his lips against Cas's.

"I should brush my teeth," Cas blushes.

"Do I have morning breath?"

"What? No. But I probably do."

Dean brings their lips together again, kissing deeply this time, hand tangling in Cas's hair to hold him closer. "Seems fine to me," he grins when he eventually pulls away.

Blush deepening, Cas lets his gaze drift to Dean's lips; so skilled, so perfect. "We should get up," he mumbles a few moments later, reluctantly pulling away to sit up and look at the clock. "Umm... when did you say you were meeting your brother?"

"Lunch or dinner. We haven't decided which yet; I'll have to call him," Dean replies, sitting up too and running a hand through his hair.

"It's going to have to be dinner then."

Leaning around Cas to look at the clock, Dean chuckles as he sees it's 1:19 in the afternoon. "Guess so. I can't believe how comfortable it is sleeping next to you."

"We should get up," Cas repeats, sliding out of bed to stand and stretch.

"Hell, with that kind of view getting up isn't going to be a problem," Dean grins, and Cas looks down at his own naked body.

"Oops," he says and looks around the floor 'til he finds his underwear and puts it on. "You want a shower?" he asks as he gets out clean clothes for the day.

"Depends, you gonna join me?"

Blushing, Cas shrugs. "If you want me to," he says as he heads toward the door. "I'll get coffee started and meet you in there."

As he quietly gets the coffee pot ready, Cas can distinctly hear every movement Dean makes in the bedroom through the closed door. Hearing always seems to be sharper in the morning and Cas is surprised to realize that Dean had spoken so softly in the bedroom he hadn't even noticed the heightened sense. The sheets are pulled up on the bed, smoothed out, then rustling through clothes as Dean finds the ones they'd taken off him last night, then the sounds of Dean walking out of the bedroom, opening the door quietly and leaving it open behind him, then doing the same with the bathroom door. The shower comes on, set to Cas's usual mist setting. Turning the coffee maker on, Cas dashes to the bathroom before it can start percolating, the soft misting of the shower a gentle sound on his ears that drowns out the sound when the coffee does start brewing. 

Dean is testing the water temperature and turns to smile at Cas as he sets his clean clothes on the sink. When he holds a hand out Cas smiles and takes it, letting himself be pulled under the warm spray as he closes the glass door behind him. Casually, they wash each other like this isn't the first time they've ever showered together. It isn't long before the touches turn sensual and Cas reaches down to grasp their arousals together with the intent of relieving the ache, but Dean leans close and murmurs "Cas, can I fuck you?" and when Cas whispers "Please," he finds his chest pressed against the water slicked tile wall, Dean sliding lubed fingers into him, making sure constantly that Cas is ok with what he's doing. When Dean's lube-slicked cock slides into him Cas moans, thrusting back against the slow shove and shuddering as it brings Dean deep enough to hit the prostate. "I love you," Dean murmurs against the back of Cas's neck as he begins to move, thrusts picking up speed and depth as they're both driven toward climax. When Dean's hand wraps around his cock, Cas tries to thrust into it but falters as it throws the rhythm off so he stops trying, just lets Dean's natural pace take over, feels him trembling as he nears release. Then Dean pulls out and Cas whimpers at the loss but Dean's hand tightens as he releases onto Cas's back, stroking Cas to his own climax a minute or two later. Turning in Dean's arms, Cas buries his face against his neck, wrapping his arms around him and hiding the moisture in his eyes, though he could just play it off as from the shower spray if Dean noticed.

"You wanted me to come inside you," Dean murmurs softly, hands roaming over Cas's back to wash off the white mess. It isn't a question.

"Sorry," Cas says, glad Dean can't see his blush and wondering how Dean knows. "I know, safe sex and all, I just..."

"Hey, it's ok, I understand. I just didn't know if you'd want, not 'til after I'd already pulled out. And I'm safe; had myself tested a couple weeks after you and I- that first time, just in case we got back together and you were ok with bare, because some of the dreams I had were... so I'm clean."

"If you're clean then I am too," Cas says, pulling back to look at Dean. "Last time before you was... three years, eight months, and I got tested between then and now, but I should probably get tested again, just to make sure..."

"Cas, it's fine. I trust you," Dean says, kissing him deeply and sending a tremor through Cas at the thought that next time they can go bare. "We should hurry this up or we're gonna run out of hot water."

"The hot water doesn't run out here," Cas replies, "some special kind of water heater. However, there's coffee waiting for us in the kitchen."

Dean grins. "Not polite to keep a coffee waiting," he comments, kissing Cas again. They finish washing up and Dean turns the water off. Cas reaches over the claw foot tub, which is against the back wall inside the shower enclosure, and grabs his towels from their hooks, looking back and forth between them a moment, thinking he should have gotten a fresh towel for Dean before they started. "I don't care if it's used, as long as it's dry," Dean smiles, holding out a hand. Cas hands him the towel he only uses on his hair, then goes to work drying his body off. 

Once dry, he wraps the towel around his waist, looking like the model for a Greek statue, then steps out of the shower, going to the linen closet to find a towel for his hair. There isn't another shower towel, since Cas has never had overnight company before and it had never occurred to him he might need one, so he grabs a beach towel and uses that to dry his hair. When he turns away from the closet, Dean is grinning at him. "What?" he asks, wondering if he's unintentionally done something amusing.

"Nothing," Dean smiles, coming over and wrapping his arms around Cas. "I love you," he says, kissing him again then turning to get dressed in his clothes from last night.

"Would you like some clean underwear? You're a bit more muscular but I think mine should fit you," he offers as he puts his own clothes on. "Actually, your t-shirt's probably a bit dirty too; sorry about that. I might have one that'll fit you, or I could toss all your clothes in the wash."

Dean frowns down at the boxers he just put on, and the tee he's about to put on. "I forgot. If you have something that'll fit, I'll borrow it. We can swing by my place on the way to dinner and I'll change."

"And get some clothes for tomorrow?" Cas adds as he heads, fully dressed, to the bedroom to find something that'll fit Dean's broader frame. He grabs a shirt that's always been a bit big on him, plain black t-shirt with white letters that says 'who, me?' that he only ever wears around the house, and that's only because it's very soft and Charlie gave it to him. He doesn't get why anyone would put that phrase on a t-shirt. Taking a pair of boxer-briefs out of his drawer, he heads back to the bathroom, hands the clothing to Dean, then goes to the kitchen to get the coffee. Opening the cupboard he frowns; his favorite mug is missing. Staving off panic by telling himself it's not missing, it just isn't in its place, he goes into his mind, rewinding until he gets to the last time he used it, then closes the cupboard, going into the living room and grabbing his and Dean's mugs off the coffee table. When Dean emerges from the bathroom, looking quite sexy in Cas's t-shirt which pulls just a bit tightly over his pectorals, Cas is washing the cups.

"I know you have more than two cups," Dean teases as he comes up beside him, where Cas can see his approach, and kisses him lightly on the cheek.

"I do," Cas replies as he finishes washing the second mug and puts it in the strainer, then reaches for the drying towel.

Dean grabs the towel first, smiling as he dries the two mugs and sets them in front of the coffee. "But you like bees," he grins. Cas nods, blushing. "That's ok, I'm rather partial to wings, myself. Maybe we can make this one my mug?" he asks, taking the full cup as Cas hands it to him.

"Sure," Cas smiles, wondering if Dean really understands, or is just perceptive enough to know it's important to Cas without needing to know why. "Didn't you need to call your brother?" he asks. Though he wants to explain about the mug, it's a rather long and personal story that involves the fifth doctor his parents had taken him to, who'd diagnosed him as being on the autism spectrum, same as the last four, but, at Cas's suggestion, had told his parents he was just 'socially awkward and sometimes a bit oversensitive' which was true, it was just naming the symptoms instead of the cause so his parents accepted his 'diagnosis' and allowed him to treat Cas, which basically amounted to teaching him coping mechanisms so he could 'do normal' in front of others. One of those techniques, which helped him cope when routines were disrupted, was to pick one thing that would always be the same every day, so that as long as he had that, other changes were a bit easier to manage, though still difficult. Cas decides to put it out of his mind for now; he can tell Dean about it later. Of course, there's no such thing as putting it out of his mind. It'll be sitting in the back of his brain, niggling, until he finally gets around to talking about it.

"Crap," Dean says, going to his coat where he hung it on the back of one of the island stools and fishing out his phone. He thumbs it on and the 2:38 on the time stares at him accusingly. Sighing, he grabs his coffee from the island where he'd set it and opens his contacts list, pressing the ICE Sammy, first number on the list, while he takes a sip. It rings a long time and Dean's brows crease, wondering if Sam is mad at him for not calling sooner and letting it go to voice mail.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice croaks.

"Sam?" Dean asks, concerned, wondering if his brother's come down with a cold in the last 12 hours.

"Dean!" Sam exclaims, suddenly sounding much better, though a bit panicked. There's a lot of rustling from his end of the phone.

"Sorry, were you still sleeping?" Dean asks, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

"Jet lag," Sam bluffs.

"Sam, tell me you didn't go home with Gabe last night," Dean growls.

"Holy shit, Dean, it's a quarter to three. Why didn't you call me earlier?"

"We slept in too, just like you apparently did. Don't try to change the subj-"

"We? Who's we?"

Dean doesn't blush because he never blushes, and mumbles "we'll talk about it over food. Roadhouse, half an hour?"

"Make it an hour," Sam grumbles and hangs up.

"You don't have to tell him if you aren-" Cas starts, but Dean cuts him off with a kiss.

"I want to tell him, just, you're too important to talk about over the phone. We need to talk about it in person."

Blushing, Cas smiles at Dean and sits beside him at the island. They finish their coffee in comfortable silence, then agree to head out, leaving plenty of time for the stop at Dean's place.

 

*****

 

When they get to the 'Roadhouse', Dean introduces his boyfriend to Jo and Ash, the owner's daughter and adopted son, respectively, and then the owner herself, Ellen, who pulls him into a big hug which Cas, stiffening but knowing she doesn't mean any harm, endures. Asking Jo to bring over a couple black coffees, Dean leads Cas over to a table, not touching, and pulls out a chair for him.

Slow, deep breaths helping to calm him, Cas sits, noting absently that Dean has given him the chair in the corner, where no one will be passing behind him. "Sorry," he says, smiling at Dean as he sits to Cas's right, a wall behind his back too.

"No, I'm sorry. I know Ellen's a hugger; I should have headed her off, or at least warned you before we came in," Dean protests.

Shaking his head, Cas says, "You can't predict everyone's reactions, especially mine; though you're better at it than anyone I've ever met, Charlie included."

Cas's hand is resting on the table and Dean's hand hovers over it a second, then settles on top when his boyfriend doesn't tense up. He smiles at Cas, hand squeezing gently as he says, "I want you to be happy, and I want you to be able to enjoy, or at least not hate or fear, new social situations. You should be able to trust me to make things as easy as possible for you and I'm going to work on it until you can. Because as much as I love having you alone and all to myself, I also want to show you off, so everyone can see how amazing you are."

Blushing, Cas ducks his head. "I'm not amazing," he mumbles. "I'm 'weird' and 'not normal' and 'awkward'."

Dean shakes his head, squeezing Cas's hand again. "You're smart, and you're brave enough to let yourself be surrounded by people you don't know just to do something you love, like singing. Or letting me introduce you to my family. You have a great sense of humor and you're fucking beautiful, inside and out. And I don't believe in giving false compliments so if I say you're amazing, I mean you're amazing."

"Sorry." Cas hadn't meant to imply Dean was lying or placating him.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Dean murmurs, leaning closer to brush his lips over Cas's reddened cheek.

They both look up at the sound of a throat clearing and Cas goes redder, seeing Jo standing by their table with a coffee cup in each hand. She gives a wide grin as if to say she was just trying to get their attention, not judging, and puts a mug before each of them as she sits in one of the empty chairs. "So, Dean, looks like you finally found your smile," she quips, leaning the chair back onto two legs.

Catching the curious look from Cas, Dean explains, "I was coming here when I needed to get out over the past few months."

"Oh. Sorry," Cas replies, and Jo raises an eyebrow at him.

"Cas, you don't need to apologize. We're happy now and in the future we'll communicate better, right?"

"There a story there?" Jo asks.

Dean shrugs. "Just took a while for us to get together. Hey, Ash," he adds as the guy with the sandy blonde mullet sits in the other empty chair.

"Hey, Dean, you managed to come across anything good lately?" Ash asks.

"Not sure. I've found a few of those computer board thingies in totaled cars; was planning on bringing them by sometime this week. No old computers though; I think people generally throw those out or whatever rather than thinking a salvage yard will take them."

"I told ya you should put a sign in the window sayin ta bring them there."

"Bobby nixed the idea. He said he'll take them if people bring 'em in but he's not gonna advertise or he'll be 'drownin in the damn things'. His words, not mine. Sorry, dude."

"Nah, 's alright man, I'm lucky you get me as much stuff as you do. I mean, free is free, am I right?"

"Damn straight," Dean grins, taking a drink of his coffee. "My eyes are always peeled, and I'll bring in what I've got soon, k?"

"Sure, thanks," Ash says, then gets up and goes back to 'work', rubbing a cloth over tables and chairs without looking as he does something-or-other one-handed on his phone.

Jo watches him go and rolls her eyes. "I better go get some actual work done or Mom's gonna start busting heads. Let me know if you need more coffee. Or a _real_ drink. And Cas, it really is good to meet you; It's nice to see Dean happy for once."

Watching her go, Cas's brows crease, chasing down an elusive thought, something that wasn't right with the phrasing. "Dean, you've known these people for a long time, right?"

"Huh? Yeah, Jo's dad, Ellen's husband, was best friends with my dad so we hung out whenever we were in the area. Why?"

"... ... Just curious." Cas doesn't want to speculate on how the way Jo said 'for once' suggested Dean was never, or at least rarely, happy when he came here. Not just the past four months when Cas was, stupidly, avoiding him, but even before that.

"Cas-" but then Sam comes in and Dean breaks off, tabling it for later.

"Dean," Sam says, coming over.

He stands so Sam can give him the usual hug, then puts his arm around his brother's shoulder, holding him to his side across the table from his boyfriend. "And this is Cas, my boyfriend," he says, and Cas nods in greeting.

"Wow, boyfriend? Really?" Sam asks with a stunned glance at Dean as he sits in the chair next to him.

"Sammy, you've known I'm bi since forever," Dean points out, sitting down too.

"Yeah, no, it's not that, it's just... I got the impression there was some kind of... tension going on between the two of you last night."

"You noticed?" Dean asks, surprised.

"Dean, I've got eyes," Sam replies, rolling them for emphasis which makes Cas chuckle.

"I just didn't think it was that obvious."

"It was. And Gabe mentioned you hadn't been in since the night you went home with Cas. He thought you two had started dating, but it was obvious you weren't together last night. So what happened?"

"We got to the root of the problem and fixed it," Dean shrugs. Cas blushes. "And speaking of Gabe-"

"I need a beer. Who wants a beer?" Sam interrupts, then dashes off to the bar without waiting for an answer, where he's accosted with hugs from Jo and Ellen, and Ash claps a hand on his shoulder. Eventually he returns with three bottles of beer, handing them around the table (Dean later drinks Cas's untouched beer after he finishes his own) and striking up a conversation with Cas. Sam steers them through a few subjects until they hit on writing, which they wind up discussing most of the night, though occasionally Sam tosses out an amusing story about Dean, or asks Cas about himself, his parents, childhood; things Dean hasn't even had time to learn yet but is grateful to know the answers to. At some point Jo brings them food and they eat. Any time Dean brings up Gabe, Sam changes the subject and eventually Dean lets it drop. That's why it comes as a complete surprise, near the end of the night, when Sam pulls a small black box from his pocket and tells Dean he's planning to propose to Jess when he gets back to California.

"Really?" Dean asks incredulously, staring at the ring.

"Yes. She's graduating this year and I'm starting the law program. It's already hard enough to see each other with our schedules, and that's when we're going to the same school and have some of the same classes. I know I want to get married, so why wait? Once we're engaged we can move in together and start building a life together. And we'll know that even when our schedules clash and we can't see each other much, we still have each other."

"Sammy... I mean... If that's what you really want then I'm happy for you, of course, but... are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. She's smart, kind, beautiful; she's everything I want."

Dean doesn't point out that Sam said she's everything he wants, but he didn't actually say he wants her. He doesn't point out that Sam hasn't once said he loves her. And he certainly doesn't point out that he and Jess have only been dating for 8 months (because it's not like Dean has any room to talk there, at all). There's no point spending the rest of Sam's visit with Sam pissed at him. "If it makes you happy, then I'm happy for you," he says instead, because the statement is true, even if the likelihood of it happening is not.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to some encouraging comments from starlightoffandoms, I managed to finish this story. I know this one ended a bit abruptly, but it was a good Segway into the next two stories, which will focus on Sam. We'll still get to see some of the development between Dean and Cas through Sam's observations.
> 
> I'd like to comment on why this particular story gave me so much trouble. Feel free to skip this paragraph if that doesn't interest you. The problem was that this story is from Cas's point of view. Cas is 'on the spectrum' of autism, though it's mild. When I was in school, there was no 'spectrum', you were either functioning or not, and I was 'functioning', just weird. So while I've suspected for a long time now that I'd have been labeled if there'd been a label back then, I've never been diagnosed. My son, however, has; just mild, like Cas. So we talked for a long time when I started writing, because while I was using my own experiences to help express Cas's thoughts, I wanted to make sure I was accurate. My son said the things I'd written so far were accurate, but I was still hesitant to continue until the encouraging comments gave me the confidence. It seems like Dean sometimes has a slightly different 'feel' to him in this story, but I think that's just how he is when seen through Cas's eyes. As for Cas's parents' refusal to accept his diagnosis, 'they're good, God-loving people and there's no way their perfect little angel could be 'that', he's just a little different but still perfect just the way God made him'. And it bothered Cas for a long time that he was somehow defective; if his parents wouldn't accept the diagnosis 'autistic', it must be something really bad, right? Fortunately he had Charlie, who helped him see that a label can explain behavior but it doesn't define it, and Cas's parents just didn't understand because they were raised by people who thought anything that deviated from the norm was wrong and had to be hidden or ignored. He's lucky to have had her to convince him that he was the same person he'd always been and that was someone she loved and wanted to spend time with. And it's also good that Cas came up with the idea of suggesting to that fifth doctor not to mention the label because his parents would just take him to a different doctor again, so the doctor followed his suggestion which allowed Cas to get the help he needed to cope. I've seen psychiatrists off and on for most of my life, for depression, but the coping mechanisms I've developed for dealing with things like change in routine or sensory overload are things I've had to come up with on my own.
> 
> And now back to your regularly scheduled notes :D Thanks very much for reading. And as usual, this fic has only been proofed by me, so, as always, corrections, suggestions, and comments are welcome and encouraged. If you want to share thoughts about Cas and/or autism, please feel free. If you don't want to comment on a public forum, you can send me a private message on dreamwidth; https://cutelittlekitty.dreamwidth.org/
> 
> added note, 12-13-18; I've had a few mentions about don't use soap, so the shower scene has been changed. also hadn't been aware of the current/common meaning of bust a nut (thanks sevyn) so that has been changed to 'start busting heads' (I looked it up, didn't find any alternative interpretations on that one. and when I was younger, bust a nut meant get pissed. or at least that's what I always thought it meant. maybe I confused it with ball busting? whatever, it's changed now.)


End file.
